Something that I have really wrestled with since coming to Christ is accepting that I am good enough to be a part of God’s family. At times I have felt so out of touch with other believers and that I was very much the odd one out. There was one occasion I left church swallowing hard to choke back my tears. I felt like such a sinful person compared to everyone else and I told my husband that I would not be returning to church. Luckily, he replied “you will be going again next week even if I have to fireman carry you there!” I remained adamant for the next few days but then the feeling began to clear especially when my father in law put his arm around me and told me “Dear, none of us are good enough!” Of course, he is right, there is not one person in the Holy Bible that is good enough apart from God Himself. God does not want people that are righteous in and of themselves, who are able bodied for the task. He wants people like you and me, people incapable of the job. Why? Because this is the way that He is Glorified.
Moses didn’t feel good enough as we see in Exodus 3:11 “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and I that I should bring the children out of Egypt.” And again in Exodus 4:10 “Then Moses said to the Lord “O My Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since you have spoken to your servant but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” Yes this is the man God chose to speak to from the burning bush, calling him by his name and this is the man who God chose to lead approximately two and a half million people out of Egypt and guide them through a 40 year journey in the wilderness!!
I have found a lovely passage in a book by Angus Buchan entitled “Come of Age”
“The question is not whether you are able, the question is: Are you available? I have come to realise that God always honours faith. God always uses faithful men and women to do His work, not men and women of great learning or great natural ability but men and women who are prepared to believe Him and do whatever He says no matter how ridiculous it might seem at the time.”
We must remember that we do not do anything in our own strength and thus our human, physical capabilities are irrelevant to God, the only thing that matters is our attitude. We just need to listen to what God wants of us and have the courage to do it. I can tell you sometimes it is not easy. When I started this blog a few weeks ago, I was nervous, and the following fears went round and round in my mind:-
What if I make a mistake?
What if people don’t like it?
What if people think I am crazy?
What if it is not God’s will and I just think it is?
What if people defriend me because I am too Christian for them?
What if people are talking about me behind my back because of my views?
What if I plagiarise someone and I get sued?
What if my relationships with others are affected because they are not Christians?
What if people think I am annoying because I am being evangelical?
Despite all these misgivings I had to trust God. At the end of the day, God is all we truly have. All else can be taken away from us, our loved ones, our money, our possessions but God is with us forever. Before the world was, He was and after the world is no more, He will still be. God is infinite and omnipresent. God is everywhere, there is nowhere we can go, and God will not be there, He is at once transcendent and imminent. I could not allow these thoughts to gather pace in my mind.
I have been doing two Bible studies recently on mind management and checking our thoughts and have learnt much from these which I hope to share with you in another blog. The main focus is on this scripture passage in 2 Corinthians 10:5 “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”. We need to be aware of our spiralling thoughts which are not of God, take them captive and allow the thoughts which are of God to rule our heads!
Don’t get me wrong, at times I am still scared but I do not let the thoughts take hold. I have chosen to trust God with this. My goal as a believer is to trust God in everything and I will continue to strive for this, but, as regards my blog, I have decided to trust God that this is what He wants from me and I have received some lovely messages from people saying how much a blog has helped them and this reassures me that my blog is of God. The most wonderful achievement for me personally from this is that in trusting God and in doing His will I have found growth in my faith. I have found happiness in something other than pleasing myself. I find happiness in pleasing God! It is likely some of my fears have come true, but it is irrelevant. My heart is happy because I have aligned myself with God’s will and this is such a blessing to experience.
There are many more biblical characters that seem “not good enough” who are such an inspiration to us, so I am going to continue with this theme in Part 2.
Meantime, when you feel God telling you to do something (and bear in mind this may not be audible but rather your own voice in your head or perhaps the same topic cropping up continually in your readings) you may be scared, you may question God, you may be ashamed to do what He has asked of you but “Just Do It”. There is no greater feeling of peace than knowing your actions are pleasing to God and that your relationship with Him is growing and developing.
I leave you with this Scripture which is a favourite to many Christians, and you will see why!
Love and Blessings